Motivation has become a foreign concept in my world lately. I seem to spend so much time and energy regulating my day-to-day emotions that things like paying bills, and doing homework and grocery shopping have all gone on the wayside.
This has all left me six weeks into my senior year semester terrified that I’m not going to get it together in time.
Terrified. Ter-if-ied. Terrified.
I’m sitting in the library right now, where I am supposed to be getting homework done and I literally have no idea where to start.
I haven’t started my observation hours for my education class, which means I’m twenty hours behind, plus homework. And there is no feasible way to make them up.
I have a Stats midterm on Monday and I need to study my brains out for that because I am getting a “D” and I can’t graduate unless I get a “C”. Which is freaking me out.
And I have a 13 minute presentation in my Psych class on Monday on a book I don’t have and haven’t read. 13 minutes.
So, I’m freaking out. And the mountain seems so high I don’t know where to start.
And that’s not a good thing. I really should just start doing something but I don’t even know how to try anymore.
I don’t care about school, and unfortunately, everyone around me feels the exact same way. They call it Senior-itis.
I don’t care what it is. It’s ruining my life.
I have one fracking semester. I cannot blow it. I don’t want to have to come back and push my life back another semester. So I just have to grit my teeth and do it. Get it done. But I don’t know how. I have no idea.
Today sucks.
breakupandbreakthrough 